Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
