oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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