Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
