I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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