can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm like, not good at living.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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