Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
