Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
