I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
