is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
