I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
