I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
