She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
