I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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