just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have post one night stand depression
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