that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He did a backflip because drugs
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
