We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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