I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
