At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
