This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
