so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
