You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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