Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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