I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
