i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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