he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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