we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
