YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
