i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
