Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
