Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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