My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
