Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
