u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
