You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
