Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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