First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my sisters under your porch take her home
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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