Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
