why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
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Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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