I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
