Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
