He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
handjob tips. give me some.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
