I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
