What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
