so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
