I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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