Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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