ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
