we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I want a musical about memes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
