i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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