If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
