BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
