I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
