So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
