he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
