Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
